Archive for January, 2009

The Journey

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Poetry on January 28, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

For all the women in the world who imagine they need to save everyone else first:

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Love and Books

Posted in Books, Love on January 26, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

This year I rediscovered how much I love to read.  For some reason, however, I fell into a great rhythm of one book after the other. It was really neat how they just seemed to jump into my lap. For the moment, I have fallen into a lull, but I will definitely be getting back into the swing of things come January. One of the books I have been plugging along in is

Women Who Run With the Wolves

. Everywhere I turned this year, this title kept coming up. I don’t believe in coincidence, so I took it as a sign. Well, was it ever! I could not have tied it in any better to what I was reading than if I’d written it myself. Now, the great part is that this book is LOADED with Woman Wisdom, and the bad part is that, like women, it will take a lifetime to understand and figure out. And that’s if you’re lucky! I am enjoying it, though, and each time I pick it up, it speaks to me right where I am.

Tying into the book themes, I’ve really been struggling this year with Love; What is it really? Can I have it? Do I already have it and don’t know it? Do I even love myself? Am I open to receiving love from anyone else, or am I scared of being burned? You get the idea. A lot of questions. Have I found a few answers? Yes, I think I have, but as always, there remains a plethora of questions yet unanswered. I suppose time will have to tell me more on that.

Looking back over the year, I’d say I was on a quest. I didn’t know at the time that I even wanted to go, or even when I left, but that’s what it was. I’m quite sure, too, that I’m still on the quest, because I still have more questions than answers. Now I know, that seems to be what life is all about: realizing that the older we get, the less we know. Well, from the looks of it, I must be pretty old, ’cause I don’t know sh**! I just hope that this new year will bring about some enlightenment that I can wrap my head around.

So, here is a toast to all those moving forward into the new year. May we slow down enough to realize how blessed we are, to enjoy those things which make us happy and to treasure the people whom we deeply love.

kiss your hand to the moon

Posted in Uncategorized on January 25, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

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Our troubled economic times have come to my house.  We weren’t really too surprised, and with half a million people laid off last month in the US, we are certainly not alone. As I frequently do when I am troubled, I went out to look at the moon, to rise above the place of my daily life concerns and be in the moon’s realm of beauty and peace. 

It got me to thinking about how, according to something I once read, it was once considered very powerful to kiss your hand to the moon. Once more the moon became my comforter and muse as I thought of what this custom really says.  To me, it is a way to express that…

You love yourself.  I don’t mean that in an egocentric way, but that you accept who you are, appreciate your uniqueness and the fact that, of all the people who have ever been born on this earth and who ever will be born, you are the only one who can express exactly the message you have for the world and do what you need to do with your life to make the world a kinder, more just place for everyone to live.  So, you’d better get to it. 

You are connected to the universe at large. You understand that you are never really alone, never really isolated or lonely, because you are deeply embedded in the entire universe of planets, stars, and all creatures on this earth.  You are, after all, greeting the celestial body that circles your planet and is in gravitational balance with all the rest of the universe.  You are expressing and taking your unique place in the universe. You are saying that you belong here, that what you have to say and do has worth because you are right where you are meant to be.

Life is to be lived joyfully.  I mean, kissing your hand to the moon, if you do it well  (meaning with a smile on your face and a flourish of your arm, as well as a great big smacking noise) is kind of silly according to the rather staid and dour culture we seem to live in these days, so you must get into a mood for spontaneity and doing things just for the fun of it, especially if you do it with any frequency.

In other words, gaze at the moon, and then go inside and get back to work being creative and taking action, saying what you need to say and doing what you need to do, and doing so with joy.

I sometimes get lost in everyday life and all its complications.  I forget that the answers to getting through every day can be very simple.  Sometimes finding the impetus to respond  to life’s difficulties comes from just going outside and kissing your hand to the moon… kissing your hand to the moon and being grateful for all those celestial bodies and human beings who call forth happiness and joy despite all the stress and uncertainty of our times, who call forth respect for individuality and creativity and its expression as music or poetry or other art forms, who call forth compassionate action as a way of solving the troubles of the world.

Skeleton Woman

Posted in Uncategorized on January 24, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

I was going to post something else that was on my mind, but I’m going to save it for another day. For some reason, this idea of the Skeleton Woman keeps coming around and I feel like I need to write about her. It’s interesting to me how some themes seem to run through your life, or rather chase you, and this is what the Skeleton Woman is doing to me. She seems to be chasing me just like the man in the story.

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Skeleton Woman

The following is one of my favorite folk tales on the theme of the life, death, rebirth cycle and the presence of Lady Death in all relationships. I think it poetically describes the ebb and flow of all affairs of the heart. This is a modified adaptation of a live version performed by the esteemed Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Jungian psychologist and storyteller of the old tradition.

There once was a hunter fisherman, who was fishing in a cove far from home, that he didn’t realize was haunted. Looking around and seeing no other kayaks out in the water, he thought, ‘I have this bay all to myself.’ He dropped his bone hook over the side of his kayak and waited. And he was so hungry. And he was so lonely. And he had been hunting and fishing for days on end without finding anything to eat. And so his bone hook went down, down, down, into the deep waters.

Beneath the waters was a skeleton woman, and she lay there on the ocean floor, rolling back and forth with the tide. The bone hook, as it drifted down into the deep waters, caught in her ribcage. Although she tried to move with the currents to disengage herself, the bone hook caught all the more tightly. The fisherman above, felt a tug, and pulled a little more, and saw his fishing stick beginning to bend. ‘Oh’ he thought, ‘I’ve got something really big on the end of this line that’s going to keep me fed for a very long time to come.’ As he pulled harder, Skeleton Woman began to drift to the surface of the water. And as he turned back around with his net to catch his ‘prize’, there she was – hanging off the bow of his kayak, with her long yellow front teeth, and her bald head filled with crustaceans, and sea worms dangling from the nose holes and ear holes of her skull. The fisherman was absolutely terrified! So much so that his ears turned a bright red and met each other at the back of his head. He screamed and paddled fast as he could towards shore. But she was still hooked in her ribcage and so when he paddled and looked back over his shoulder, he saw her standing on tippy-toes racing after him, over the tops of the waters. ‘Oh no!’ he screamed, ‘She is chasing me! She is after me!’ And he arrived at the shore, not a moment too soon and scrambled out of his kayak, grabbed his fishing stick and ran for his life. He looked over his shoulder every few moments and sure enough, she was still keeping up with him. The poor fisherman was running in terror as fast as he could and finally he came to his little skin house and dove inside, into the darkness.

And he thought, ‘At last I am safe.’ He became very still and listened…and the only sound he could hear was his own heart pounding. ‘I must have out run her’, he thought and after a little while just to be certain, he began to make a little fire, because he was so cold. And then, right across from him, flickering in the light there she was! She was still hooked and all in a tangled mess. Her ankles were over her shoulders and one arm was caught in her ribcage and her pelvis was tilted backwards, and her skull was hanging down below her shoulders. He looked at her and something came over him. He looked a little longer, and tried to still his fear. The more he studied her the more he felt sorry for her. She was in such a predicament. Somehow in this tangled mess she didn’t look so frightful as she had before. And he contemplated her…and she did not move. The more he thought about it, she had an almost pitiful, pleading expression.

Like a father would to a child, he reached out and took her ankles down from her shoulders cooing, ‘There , there, that’s better isn’t it? Not so uncomfortable.’ He straightened and untangled her, as he sang a little song, as a father would. And soon she was all straightened out. And she had an odd little tilt to her skull that almost made her look grateful. And he mused, ‘Well, she’s just a skeleton hooked by accident. I’ll leave her be this night and then give her a proper burial in the morning. I’ll try to sleep now, because I’m so very hungry and sleep is my only escape from this hunger. And he fell fast asleep, exhausted by all the excitement and lack of food.

As often happens when we sleep, a little tear escaped from the corner of his eye and began to trickle down his face. Skeleton woman saw this tear glistening there and became very thirsty. And so very quietly, with the slightest of tinkling and rattling of bones, she got on her hands and knees and placed her mouth there and drank deeply. When she saw that he did not awaken, she slid her hand inside his chest and took out his heart. And she raised it like a great drum and began pounding on it. Boom….boom…boom…and she began to sing flesh onto her bones. She sang with the drum of his heart and long, glossy, black hair grew out of her skull and a full, elegant face and fine hips and all the things that a woman needs began to take shape. And when she was done, she slipped the hunter’s heart back inside his chest and looked at him ever so tenderly. She lifted the sleeping skins of his bedding and climbed in underneath and pressed her warm body against his. And they tangled all night long. They wound up more tangled then she had been to begin with. With her legs over his shoulders and all those things that happen when people make love.

And when morning broke, they left together hand in hand. Because she was from the water, they never again went hungry for she had a way of calling the creatures of the sea to her. And people say that if you are ever out when the whole land is white with snow and the sky is also stark white and nothing seems to move; if you look out into the horizon, and can see two tiny black dots bobbing gently, that is skeleton woman and her hunter.

This story has been so enlightening to me. I guess I feel like I am the fisherman in the story, trying to embrace the different phases of my relationship with my husband. Now that I think about it, maybe my husband is my skeleton woman. And maybe I am his…

A Few Things About Me

Posted in About Me, Life, Moods with tags , on January 23, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

I have a tendancy to be a hermit which I’m really quite comfortable being. However, there are times when I feel a need to see more of the outside world.

I like cowboys.

I read books every day. My idea of fun is reading books.

I prefer to be alone and would conduct my entire life over the Internet if it were possible.

I really like cowboys.

Pepe LePew is my favorite cartoon character and my favorite thing he says is les mew. Sometimes I actually say this to my cats and think they understand.

Did I mention that I really like cowboys.

cowboy_butt_

Posted in Feelings, Life, Moods with tags , , on January 22, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

Just when I believe I can keep all the emotional balls in the air (and I believe it with all my heart) confidence falls, rapidly followed by pluck and grit and mettle. 

There are days when you feel like you’re on top of the world, and if you’re like me, those days are usually followed by an abrupt change in the opposite direction.  Out of nowhere, the enormity of decisions  I’ve had to make hit me like a sucker punch and I go down for the count.  Sometimes I stay there until the fight is called and everyone goes home.  Then, and only then, can I pull myself to my feet, dress my wounds, and consciously decide to live to fight the fight again.  

Can I do this again?    How do I begin?

I begin at the beginning and hope not to slide backwards too often.

I Have A Dream…And the Dream Has Become Reality

Posted in 44th President, Barack Obama, History with tags , , on January 21, 2009 by moragglimmerwitch

All I can say ….      abc_pol_obama_swear_in4_090120_mc1

And I Proudly quote:

“I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.”

“I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.”

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.”

“I have a dream that …children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

“I have a dream today.”

“This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”

“And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

I have a dream today.

Martin Luther King, Jr

Washington, DC,  August 28, 1963